Review: Elixir by Hilary Duff (with Elise Allen)

** 2 STARS **

blarrrghhhh...

I was really hoping this book would be good. I'd heard negative feedback about Elixir, but I wanted to give it a go on the off chance that people were just being extra critical since a celebrity wrote it. I love Hilary, I watched her on Lizzie Mcguire growing up and I think she's a lovely person, but sadly I was not impressed by Elixir at all.

(Just to warn you now, this review will be somewhat ranty and contain at least a few gifs, because everything is better with gifs, amirite?)

The book starts off with Clea and her bff at a club in Paris. My first thought:
"The hell? How old is she??"
Clearly not old enough to be at a club.
Second thought:
"THE HELL? where are her parents???"
Apparently one is missing and the other doesnt give a shit gives her a lot of freedom.

Her bff (can't for the life of me remember her name) really annoyed me. Not every guy you date is your soul mate, especially if you date obsessively. She was all "HE'S THE ONE I JUST KNOW IT!" You met him what, yesterday?



Rainbows and sparkles and true loooooooooveeeeeeee :3





And Clea herself isn't much better. Typical Mary-Sue to go with the very formulaic plotline:
1. Mary-Sue Main Character
2. Giggly Airhead Best Friend
3. Love triangle that includes a mysterious/dangerous hot guy and a geeky best guy friend.
4. Parents who are either dead, missing, or dont care what MC does.
5. StRaNgE things happen to MC which are linked to hot guy
6. On many occasions the pedo hot guy has moods swings that come off as him either wanting to kiss the MC, or kill her.
7. MC finds out hot guy's terrible secret that threatens the very foundations of their insta-love!!



Noes! D:



I don't even get the romance. Really, I dont. If I found out the mysterious hot guy, aka Sage, (who has already shown signs of creepery by showing up in all my photos--another part which didnt make sense and wasnt explained) had all of these weird paintings of me, SOME WHERE I'M DEAD, and collected my signature necklaces like some sort of serial killer souvenir, I'd be like:

RUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!

 And I sure as HELL wouldnt have sex with him a few days later in my friend's car!!!! I mean where is your self-respect, Clea?
And the whole thing where Sage bought condoms because he "had a feeling" they would do it that night....WTF NO. Wrong on so many levels. 

I know Ron, that was my reaction too.



To say the least, I don't recommend Elixir unless you like throwing books at the wall out of anger.